Sunday, March 9, 2008


I know, I know. It's been over a week, and I've been MIA. Believe me, it wasn't by choice - things like real life, and job and non-food related events have conspired to keep me away and I haven't felt much like being adventurous lately.

Have you ever had one of those defining moments when you see your parents as if from a third person's perspective? When you look, and for a brief second, you are as unconnected to them as if they were complete strangers? It took me almost twenty nine years to have such a moment, but when it finally happened, it shocked me. I saw my mother as others must see her, and she was so breathtakingly beautiful, that I couldn't imagine actually being related to her. She seemed to light up the room with her energy, her passion, her kindness, her strength and the force of her character. At that moment, she was the center of the universe, and paradoxically, I felt less like her daughter than I'd ever felt before. I wondered if she was happy with the role of being my mom. I wondered if she ever wished I was more like her, or less like her, or whether I even knew who she really was, blinded as I had been by the self-centeredness inherent in being someone's child. It was a disconcerting revelation, to say the least. I waited for my world to settle back into its familiar pattern, but I'm beginning to think it isn't going to. Maybe it's just a part of growing up. I can't tell yet whether I like it or not, and maybe that's an integral part of it as well. I almost wish I could go back to the time when I was five and my mother was my sole property, but then again, I don't really because then, I would never have discovered what I had today. Shrek says that ogres are like onions because they have layers. I guess mothers are like onions too, and not only because they make you cry sometimes.

I promise, back to food tomorrow. Thanks for being patient with me.


Aran said...

Wow... that was really touching. it resonates with me. as a matter of fact, i was writing to a friend of mine about that same feeling a few days ago. i think it's part of growing up and in my case, to have become a mother myself. thanks for sharing.

Heather said...

Irene, I'm glad you posted this. I can relate to how you are feeling. Like you said, seeing your parents in a different light is part of growing up. Though it is a bit disconcerting at times, I think it brings you closer to them in a good way.

Eleonora said...

You're just as amazing as mom is! I admire you. :)